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Latest Writing News, Headlines and Blogs from Writers Write:

The Best of Bad Writing
From: www.writerswrite.com

"It's time once again to peruse the best of the bad writing, as decided by the judges of the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. By comparing his love's anatomy to the carburetor of his car, Dan McKay, a computer analyst at Microsoft Great Plains in Fargo, North Dakota, won this year's contest, beating out thousands of other dreadful entries. "As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire," he wrote, comparing a woman's breasts to "small knurled caps of the oil dampeners." The competition highlights literary achievements of the most dubious sort -- terrifyingly bad sentences that take their inspiration from minor writer Edward George Earl Bulwer-Lytton, whose 1830 novel "Paul Clifford" began, "It was a dark and stormy night." "We want writers with a little talent, but no taste," San Jose State English Professor Scott Rice said. "And Dan's entry was just ludicrous." McKay was is in China and could not be reached to comment about his status as a world-renowned wretched writer. He will receive $250. But there's more. Here's the runner-up: "The rising sun crawled over the ridge and slithered across the hot barren terrain into every nook and cranny like grease on a Denny's grill in the morning rush, but only until eleven o'clock when they switch to the lunch menu," wrote Lester Guyse, a retired fraud investigator in Portland, Oregon. Ken Aclin, of Shreveport, Louisiana, won the Grand Panjandrum's Award for his shocking similes and abusive use of adjectives. He wrote that India "hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia." If you didn't win, or didn't even know about the contest, there's always next year. The official website is here. "

Bochco Goes Over There
From: www.writerswrite.com

"The Hollwood Reporter examines the effect on TV writers by writer/producer Steven Bochco. Bochco's newest TV show is an Iraq War drama for Fox called Over There. What is less known about Bochco, particularly outside of industry circles, is the sheer number of writers, producers and directors who logged time at Steven Bochco Prods. or worked on Bochco shows early in their careers and have gone on to become some of the medium's heaviest hitters in their own right. At the head of that class would be fellows named David E. Kelley, Dick Wolf and David Milch. Kelley was famously recruited to write a script for "L.A. Law" while still practicing law on the East Coast. That single script would turn into hundreds. Wolf cut his teeth on "Hill Street," where he was a staff writer (his first such gig) before going on to create the multipronged "Law & Order" franchise. Milch, too, was a writer for "Hill Street" back in the day. He would ultimately co-create, executive produce and write for "NYPD Blue." And now, of course, he's busy winning rave notices for his artistic and profane Western saga "Deadwood" on HBO. Milch (a 24-time Emmy nominee and four-time winner), says Bochco taught him everything he knows about how to write a TV show. "Steven taught me about structure, about honoring the contract with the audience and all that implies. And then he also taught me to honor the requirements of the material, sometimes in opposition to that contract with the audience. Mostly, though, he taught by example. He was so brave in a medium not overwhelmed with brave people. And there's just no question that no one but him would have seen that my peculiar combination of talents was somehow a promise worth cultivating." "

Roald Dahl and the Museum
From: www.writerswrite.com

"Perhaps author Roald Dahl (1916-1990) would have been pleased at Tim Burton's adaptation of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. He might also have been pleased to find out that a museum in his honor opened last month in England. Or, then again, he might not have been. A highlight of the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre in Great Missenden in Buckinghamshire, a 40-minute train ride from London, is a replica of the hut where Dahl wrote, with eccentric objects such as a ball of chocolate-bar wrappers and part of his own hip bone. Visitors enter the museum through doors shaped like chocolate bars. Among the exhibits are drafts of Dahl's major works, letters he wrote to his mother, films and video clips. You can find more info about the Roald Dahl Museum and Story Centre here. With all the plethora of author museums opening lately, it raises the stress levels for current authors. To be truly successful, clearly one must have a museum named after one. Time to start saving all those letters to mum. "

Film Execs Apocalypto Over Mayan Dialect
From: www.writerswrite.com

"We thought it was one of Mel Gibson's notorious practical jokes. But Variety swears that that Mel Gibson's upcoming film, entitled Apocalypto will not be in English. Or Aramaic. All dialogue in the film will be spoken in an obscure Mayan dialect. Yes, that's right: Mayan. When production chiefs from selected studios trooped to Icon Prods. headquarters after an invite to read the film Mel Gibson planned for summer 2006, they were surprised at the very first page of the script. "The dialogue you are about to read will not be spoken in English." Gibson, who last made the most successful Aramaic-language film ever, is at it again. Apocalypto hardly fits the traditional definition of a summer film. Set 500 years ago, pic will be filmed in an obscure Mayan dialect, presumably with the same kind of subtitles Gibson reluctantly added to The Passion of the Christ. It will star a neophyte cast indigenous to the region of Mexico where Gibson will shoot in October. And it likely will carry an R rating, unless Gibson tempers the onscreen depiction of violent scenes he wrote in his script. So, what is the screenwriting lesson to be learned here? When your last film made $1 billion, studio execs allow you to write your script in an obscure Mayan dialect. Class dismissed. "

Seth Godin and the Aspiring Author
From: www.writerswrite.com

"Seth Godin, author of All Marketers Are Liars shares some free advice for aspiring authors in his very entertaining blog. 1. Please understand that book publishing is an organized hobby, not a business. The return on equity and return on time for authors and for publishers is horrendous. If you're doing it for the money, you're going to be disappointed. On the other hand, a book gives you leverage to spread an idea and a brand far and wide. There's a worldview that's quite common that says that people who write books know what they are talking about and that a book confers some sort of authority. 2. The timeframe for the launch of books has gone from silly to unrealistic. When the world moved more slowly, waiting more than a year for a book to come out was not great, but tolerable. Today, even though all other media has accelerated rapidly, books still take a year or more. You need to consider what the shelf life of your idea is. 3. There is no such thing as effective book promotion by a book publisher. This isn't true, of course. Harry Potter gets promoted. So did Freakonomics. But out of the 75,000 titles published last year in the US alone, I figure 100 were effectively promoted by the publishers. This leaves a pretty big gap. This gap is either unfilled, in which case the book fails, or it is filled by the author. Here's the thing: publishing a book is really nothing but a socially acceptable opportunity to promote yourself and your ideas far and wide and often. If you don't promote it, no one will. If you don't have a better strategy than, "Let's get on Oprah" you should stop now. "

Latest Writing News, Headlines and Blogs from Yahoo:

Author wins `booby prize' for bad writing (Bangkok Post)
From: us.rd.yahoo.com

"Los Angeles _ A Microsoft analyst has won an annual contest celebrating bad writing by comparing fixing carburettors to fondling a woman's breasts."

Reading, writing, now arithmetic (Orange Leader)
From: us.rd.yahoo.com

"For more than 20 years, Rebecca Flickinger wrote news stories. Today, she's writing a new chapter in her life. "At an age when all my friends are readying to retire I'm starting my third career," she said."

Safeco to stop writing home policies in state (Sun-Sentinel)
From: us.rd.yahoo.com

"MANATEE Safeco Insurance said it will stop writing homeowners policies in Florida, the sixth insurance company to announce its departure from the market since last year's rough hurricane season."

BAGHDAD, Iraq--The head of the group writing Iraq's constitution says he will recommend asking parliament for a 30-day (The Herald-Sun)
From: us.rd.yahoo.com

"The head of the group writing Iraq's constitution says he will recommend asking parliament for a 30-day extension to finish."

Schools miss Top 10 in writing, math (Venice Gondolier)
From: us.rd.yahoo.com

"On Tuesday Gov. Jeb Bush and the Department of Education Secretary John Winn announced the Florida counties in which students scored the biggest gains in mathematics, overall math proficiency and overall writing proficiency on the 2005 Florida Comprehensive Assessment Tests."

Safeco To Stop Writing Florida Homeowner Policies (WESH)
From: us.rd.yahoo.com

"MANATEE, Fla. -- A sixth insurance company announced that it will stop writing homeowners policies in Florida after last year's rough hurricane season."

Latest Writing News, Headlines and Blogs from The Writiing Life:

UpdateStill cannot pub
From: cdeemer.blogspot.com

" UpdateStill cannot publish on my end unless I ftp and change the index.html file manually. When changes actually appear and the blog looks normal, it's because it has been published on the Blogger end by someone trying to help me."

The nightmare continues
From: cdeemer.blogspot.com

" The nightmare continuesWell, 2 folks who tried to help me so far haven't been able to. Is the 3rd time the charm?"

Latest Writing News, Headlines and Blogs from The Write News:

Writers Write, Inc. Launches Pleasant Morning Buzz
From: www.writenews.com

"Writers Write, Inc. has announced the official launch of Pleasant Morning Buzz ( http://www.pleasantmorningbuzz.com ), a blog covering current events with a twist. Pleasant Morning Buzz features commentary about current events including news, science, television shows, films, celebrities and other items of interest. "

BMG Direct to Acquire The Columbia House Company
From: www.writenews.com

"BMG Direct, a division of DirectGroup Bertelsmann, announced that it has reached an agreement with The Blackstone Group to acquire The Columbia House Company. Stuart Goldfarb, President and CEO of BMG Direct, will serve as President and CEO of the newly acquired company. The move combines two giant direct marketing brands with similar business models. "